November 20/2018

When traveling, a budget is a must. We knew that we would BLOW our budget the first 3 weeks in Beijing, Hong Kong, Shanghai, Tokyo, Yokohama and Osaka. So, to offset the inevitable ballooned expenditures, we had booked a red eye from Shanghai to get us into the second or first largest city in the world, depending on the day you google it.

This wouldn’t be so bad if we could have actually slept… but… we did not.

Ouch… Up for 26 hours by the time we get into the airport, we now have to find our way out, into town and to our room during the morning rush hour in the BIGGEST CITY IN THE WORLD with hopes of catching a couple hours sleep. EASY PEASY…

Holy CRAP, are we bagged…

Reid and Lela jump around likes it’s a Kriss Kross concert and all Patty and I want to do is curl up in some corner with old cigarette butts and a stray cat and close our eyes.

To my complete surprise, we get on ONE TRAIN and it happens to deliver us right to our destination. An hour later mind you but we don’t have to get off… well we did but we got back on after it was determined that this was indeed the saviour train.

Grocery stores, beer joints and restaurants all litter the area that we will be frequenting for the next 5 days. I cannot be happier, WE cannot be happier…Sumo wrestling is on TV.

An uneventful evening finds us hitting the hay a bit early so we might start the day on time. Ninjas, Pagodas, Sushi, Yoga and Mt. Fuji are on our hit list of most definites. The Tokyo Tower, The Skytree and my second tattoo are on the backburner. It’s going to be a kickass few days here in Tokyo, Japan baby!

November 21/2018

Wowzers!! What a sleep… Our matchbox size accommodations don’t really seem to be an issue when you catch the ZZZZZZ’s that we did. Bright eyed and bushy tailed, we are ready to hit Tokyo in the snout like an aged Mike Tyson. A walk to the Sensoji Temple to see the five story Pagoda is number one on our list before seeing a sweet view of Tokyo from the highest “tower” in the world, The Tokyo SkyTree.

Sensoji Temple proves to be worthwhile. Upon arrival, we are hammered with eye catching shrines, bridges and beautiful temples. The center square of this magnificent area is host to an immense incense burner called a Jokoro. At Sensoji, Asakusa people come from all over to bathe themselves in the smoke that rises from this burner. It is said to purify the body and have healing effects on those that cover themselves with it.

Well, I am all about being healed so game on! You can purchase bundles of incense from the small shop next to the Jokoro for $1.00 CDN. I have always been fascinated by the different ways other cultures pray. This was one of the coolest ways I have seen to date, that’s for sure.

After a quick smoke bath and our thanks given for our trip thus far our focus heads for The Tokyo SkyTree. This tower stands 2,080ft with observation decks at 1167ft and 1502ft tall which makes it the tallest tower in the world!

Yet another marvel of the world of architecture. We looked out at the biggest city in the world from nearly twice the height of the Calgary Tower Restaurant…Man oh man are we getting a taste of what is really possible in this world. The tallest tower in Canada is the CN Tower and its stands 1,815ft tall. Get your shit together Canada… Gotta goto Dubai now to see the tallest structure I guess! Got numbers 2 and 3 licked.

The elevator to meter 350 of the SkyTree took us up at a rate of 600/m per minute or 36km/hour. That’s pretty quick for an elevator, I’m thinking. 30 seconds and we are at the first observation deck. We had a chance to spend some more cash and hit 450m deck but Mt. Fuji wasn’t visible on the horizon today so we didn’t see the point in it.

Great pictures of the Tokyo landscape made it worth the trip.

As we started preparing for and sharing the countdown to this adventure, a beautiful soul reached out to us letting us know that if we had a chance to visit Tokyo that she was available for a family Yoga class as a special gift, compliments of her. Geneva has been studying and practicing Yoga for 20 years or so and teaching children’s yoga for about 10. Originally from Winnipeg she had spent quite awhile in Ft McMurray attending school. Her gracious offer was of course scooped up by these travel weary beings and off we were to Nirmal Yoga in southwest Tokyo.

Upon meeting Geneva, we could feel the kindness and love that can only come from one that studies an ancient art like this. The kids warmed up to her right away and couldn’t zip their traps throughout the entire hour.

Yoga is second nature to me just like Mandarin. I had no trouble at all except for my knees, back, neck, elbows and torso. Childs play…

Reid and Lela enjoyed it immensely and we will most definitely be practicing this throughout our trip. I will have to tone down my advanced poses for the family though. In need of a nap and an advil (this was the most relaxed I’ve felt since I don’t know when), Geneva suggests we have some supper and we agree. When in Tokyo…

SUSHI… Damn straight.

This was the most insane delicious sushi I have ever tasted. Basically the home of sushi and we were in the heart of Tsukiji, Tokyo fish market Sushi——– is the place to go for raw fish if you ever come to Tokyo and if you would like to get in touch with my personal yoga instructor in Tokyo just drop me a line. I can probably get you a discount.

Tokyo’s streets, subways and restaurants are amongst the cleanest in the entire world. Geneva had mentioned that Singapore will make Tokyo look dirty. I need to see that. The subways are also so far, the easiest to navigate. Colors and numbers plus rigged bumpy trails on the ground allows you to navigate the city and the subway with your eyes closed! Too much SAKE? No problem! Just feeeeel your way home…

I’m sorry Shanghai. I am in love with another city.

November 22/2018

Lazy mornings are ok sometimes. To us, a lazy morning is getting going around 8:00 – 9:00am local time. Up at 7am and putting the kms on the mocassins by 9 for sure. Enjoying the cool mornings before it gets to crazy has been quite enjoyable for me. I head down to what seems like the staple convenience store of the world, 7-Eleven, hit buddy up for a sweet “latte hot” and enjoy the leisurely stroll back to my awakening family as we start our day. Yogurt, bananas and oranges are the foods of choice for the youngin’s. Myself and Mumma scrounge for whatever we can, once we hit the road. Our little building actually is home to a small café downstairs to which we have been given a key. The mornings have started by heading down there to enjoy some Japanese toast (bread burnt on both sides), much the same as Chinese toast but that’s not the most enjoyable part.

Call me creepy or whatever but… BIDET!

If you have never tried a bidet, you are missing out and are now not nearly as cultured as I am. I can describe it exactly but will refrain. I can PG equate it to a warm stream of heavenly cocoa hitting your throat on a cold winters day except for the cocoa is warm water and your throat is your butt. The Japanese know how to do it up right. It took me a bit to figure out the process but I have it down pat now. A morning wash starts the day off right. Even after a shower and especially after a long walk, I hit the bathroom. Why stand when you can sit and play with the stream strength? Cmon…Heated toilet seats, power fan/deodorizer and warm streams of water that tickle the pickle. Thank you Japan!

Fed and refreshed, our plan is too flange ourselves up with Shinkansen tickets for our trip to Osaka on Sunday. The Shinkansen is more affectionately known in English as the BULLET TRAIN. This train will take us on a 2.5 hour, 350/km per hour absolute RIPPER across Japan which would have taken us 10.5 hours via slow train. At a cost of $433 for the family. A flight would have been more costly and when you are in Japan, the bullet train is as important to try out as a bidet…

Tickets in hand we now focus our attention on Tattoo #2 for Dad. The Shimbuya area of Japan is home to most all of the tattoo parlours in the city.  Shimbuya is also home to the most INSANE crossing in the world!

There is 5 different crossing points at this main intersection that ALL CROSS at the SAME TIME once the lights turns green…

This was nuts. To a point. The flow works. Nobody hits anybody and once the lights turn red, its DEAD! Crazy… like the bidet.

Anyways…

I hit up a tattoo parlour with crazy round the world reviews and like I had imagined, both his schedule and his prices would not work for me so onward we trod. The next place we head to is closed so I set my sights on one more before abandoning the idea in Tokyo. As we get to the area that Ring-Kg Tattoo is in, our tour guide and personal yoga trainer, Geneva has started the calls to Osaka to book appointments for the time we are there. Glancing around, Patty notices a small sign with the parlours name on it and a fella sitting on the stairs…

Note: Japan has a love hate relationship with tattoos. It is basically an underground, less advertised type of business. There are some incredible artists here mind you but body ink is not as socially accepted here as other places so the artists digs are hard to find… LIKE, HARD!

Motioning to the stair dweller and saying “tattoo” like he is a 3 year old, I struggle to ask if he knows who can draw on me in some sort of foreign reach for the stars language…

Of course, he understands perfect Japanese and answers in even more perfect English… I am closed today, I am sorry. Well, that sucks,…

As we stand there wondering what to do next, I can sense him advancing closer and since I have sold the odd thing in my life, that is a big flashing neon sign that says “but I am open tomorrow!”

BINGO…

The ratings on this guy are great. I explain my plan to travel and get a tattoo of every country I go to and he leans back overly impressed. When I explain the tattoo I would like which includes a temple and Mt. Fuji… well that seals the deal. 10 am tomorrow and 20,000 Yen and we are set. Tat #2 handled. How was it that he was sitting on the stairs at that exact moment? Manifestation… dig it.

Coffee time at the traditional Japanese Starbucks is in order to figure out how we will get to Tokyo Central for our face melting train ride on Sunday, how to visit Mt. Fuji for less than an arm and a leg and how to get to Yokohama to visit Patty’s old school chum, Miguel.

The world’s problems solved and my patience wearing thin with the darkness setting in, we head back for the subway and the ½ hr jaunt back to Asakusa station where we walk another 15 mins home. The walks are enjoyable, don’t get me wrong but I know when it’s time to get home before we have “meltdown central” with the kids and I’m not stable enough to let it slide… It’s one of my superpowers. Preventative measures.

Laundry time again and a quick bidet before bed is what is on the checklist for tonight! Happy tattoo day tomorrow. I am gallivanting solo and will meet the family and Geneva at Shimbuya later on for our trip to Yokohama.

November 23/2018

Nothing like rushing to get to the tattoo parlour on time in Tokyo, Japan! First order of the day will be to stop off at the Sensoji Temple for a quick smoke bath. This has become a ritual of mine. Being a “high energy” person, this seems to calm my soul and is a great way to start the day. Plus, I get too smell like incense for a good part of the day. Now to get my ass in gear in order to make my appointment for the next piece of skin art!

Arriving at Shimbuya Station, for some reason, I get off on the wrong side and have zero time to get to where I’m going by foot. Damn it…

Trying to hail a cab and looking like quite a tool, I just about get smoked by a van. I said just about… Luckily a cab pulls up and lets a customer out and myself right on in.

A little Japanese and a couple finger points gets me delivered right to the little hole in the wall, Rin–kg. Kokhi Sato. My new best friend invites me in to his home/business. The suite is very quaint and I am introduced quickly to his daughter and wife. He and his wife run a family business and Kokhi has been drawing on skin for over 20. “Not months, YEARS…” Hahaha… I laugh. Crafty guy. As he draws up my rendition of what I choose as my next “back-sterpeice”, his lovely wife starts the prep work on me. A little back shave and a bunch of alcohol, and we are ready for blast off. Once a man with an ink needle touches your skin, you are basically at his mercy until he is done. I’m not going to lie, It was a bit uncomfortable laying prone for 1.5 hours with my head cranked 90 degrees to the left. As he finishes up his wife returns to add some last touches. This was a wonderful experience. As I lay there with antibiotic salve applied, she holds a pad down with her hand for the entire 15-20 mins that they require. I felt much care being there and saw how much pride and perfection that they put into their business. The finished product is awesome. I am very pleased and overall just plain thankful that I even got in. He was the guy to do this. No doubt. Kohki Sato and Ring-kg tattoo is very high on my recommendation list if you are looking to go for a tat in Japan. Very professional and they go the extra mile in my opinion. I was very impressed with their customer service. Thanks, Kohki.

Onward back to meet the family and Geneva at Shibuya. I’ve mastered the streets of Tokyo now… Sorry, I mean I’ve mastered google maps to get me around the streets of Tokyo. Making it back with plenty of time to spare, I need to get some food in me. Noticing a line-up of kids at a small shop, I scurry over to join in. 33 cheese hotdog covered with French fries is the shit food of choice here. I’m in! I can’t wait to sink my teeth into some goofy Japanese rendition of the corn dog.

Much to my dismay, there is absolutely no hot dog inside the baked tube of cheese. Oh, my Gawd…

Oh well, when in Rome.

That was most unsatisfying. Meeting up with the crew at Hachi’s statue (Hachi is a very famous dog in Japanese lore. I will let you research him to find the story yourself.) we decide to head to Burger King. Nothing like a bacon double cheeseburger to go with the log of cheese in my stomach. Mmmmmm…

Geneva is once again nice enough to make sure we make it to the right train enroute to Yokohama and we say our goodbyes. For now. Its great meeting such great people on our travels.

A short train ride and we arrive in Yokohama. Home to The Landmark Tower (second tallest building and 4^th tallest structure in Japan) and Nissan Global Headquarters. We got treated to an innovative car show and even got to sit in some of the most expensive cars that Nissan has on the market including the Nissan GT-R ($130,000CDN) which inside, only the Canadian kids would choose to crank the stereo and get the attention of the security crew. Pretty cool and the kids really enjoyed it.

Our whole reason for going to Yokohama was to meet up with an old school chum and professional writer, Miguel MacDonald. We hit it off immediately. My throat was sore by the time we reached our intended destination so the Tall Frosty Sapporo went down smooooth. This was of course after I chose to have a tall frosty can of “dirty socks”. Probably the most disgusting alcoholic drink in a can I have had to date, Anywhere… Yes, this includes Pilsner… (come at me Saskatchewan!)

Yuck… Apparently, this is the alcoholics drink of choice and again I thought… When in Rome! Hard NO…

As we meander around outside, we notice something going on in the square. Some sort of show or performance is about to begin!

Boy are we entertained. Two LIVE SAMURAIS battling and doing magic in the middle of nowhere and we just happen to be there at the right time. Reid even gets picked out of the crowd to join in the battle and be dubbed the “international samurai”. Can’t wait to get back home to buy a real Katana and start swingin’ that bitch around the house. Eh Patty?

As it happens the main Samurai’s (Tamato) wife is in attendance and she just happens to be from Edmonton. Small world. She is thrilled about what we are doing and even suggests to take their samurai gig on the road. Tamato chuckles…

Hungry and half cut, we all head off into the Yokohama night for a taste of Japan. Miguel’s wife, Michiko is dead set to get us a private room for our meal and, well, I agree! Let’s let her handle this one. As the ladies and kids go find us the restaurant of choice, Miguel and I try and find a place to load more data on my phone. Data is key for me. It allows me to work, find our way with no wifi and just fuck around when I feel the need. (I am all about honesty here in this blog)

Long story short… No way to add data.

Note: Buy pay as you go travel sim cards and NOT data plans at the airport. Out of all the information that I have received about travel, no one has told me this. I am telling YOU…

While Miguel is on the phone with my phone company trying to get to the bottom of all this, a fellow North American fella pulls me aside and asks me if I have ever been in a Bruce Springsteen video. LOL. Well no… Why do you ask? Daniel, who is enlisted in the Navy and based here in Yokohama proceeds to bring up “The Boss” sometime in 2012 or 13 in Chicago and shows me a pic of this dude in the front row who he thought was me. Funny as hell… A new friend made, great story to tell and now Naval contact in Japan. I love traveling…

The most glorious supper is set before us in a private room just as Michiko intended. Chicken, liver, stingray fin and most of all…

RAW HORSE was there for the eating! Now, Now… I know that there will be some jeers and perhaps some of you will unsubscribe from my blog. Keep this in mind. This raw horse was not the kind of horse you ride. It is the kind you eat. OK?? There that should put all judgements to rest. I am sure the “riding horse meat” tastes awful.

Now that we are fed and well-watered… Maybe a bit too watered, a nice hour long train ride will find us back in our beds after A FULL DAY, in order to face the day tomorrow on our Mt. Fuji quest!!

(INTERRUPTION!! As Patty and I sit for a moment in our beds just before going to sleep we are delighted to feel a small earthquake!! Felt as a Magnitude 2, the 5.0 Magnitude quake was shown to be 50km underneath us and a couple hundred kms north of our location.)

November 24/2018

Mt. Fuji is on the docket for today. Just to get to a visual point to see the volcano on Thanksgiving Saturday will be an accomplishment. She’s a busy bitch today… If we cannot make it for some reason or if its cloudy after all of the jackin’ around buying tickets, my family can just sit around staring at my back for a bit… An hour-long ride to Otsuki leads to another hour-long ride on… THOMAS the TRAIN. Well at least “the local train decorated with a bunch of Thomas pictures.” This train was much less expensive than the express so we went with it. A little stressful finding our way but here we sit…

Our arrival at The Churieto Pagoda was kind of an unexpected surprise. I had gotten a tattoo of this very Pagoda in the forefront of the great Mt.Fuji but never expected to actually see where the picture originated from. Patty is good at this sort of thing. She actually found the train stop where we could get off and go to the very spot that this picture was taken! Super cool. The hike to the top was a steep 387 stair trek but was nothing compared to the great wall so there was limited complaining. Unfortunately, the summit was met by a view of Mt. Fuji… IN THE CLOUDS. Bummer. Well we stuck it out for an hour or so and the clouds broke open enough to get a few neat pictures of the most famous of volcano/mountains on the world so off we went back down for some food and the loooooong train rides back to our room.

It only takes a small act of kindness to restore faith in humanity or at least change my negative attitude towards the fact that they waaayyyy over sold this train and we were forced to STAND for an hour in between aisles. A nice young Japanese fella got up out of his chair and allowed my children to share it. Attitude changed… Yes, even I get a bit negative and pissy sometimes.

Packing and washing our remaining clothes are the last things on our list before our big day on the Shinkansen tomorrow. 350km/hr to Osaka. Its sure to be quite the rush…

November 25/2018

A fairly crappy sleep precedes a most uneventful morning. Up early to shower, bidet and grab a coffee with a toast and we are off for the Shinkansen! It takes a couple train rides to get to our platform but arrive we do and aboard we get. As I write this, I am rippin’ my way across the Japanese countryside on a land tube that is as fast as some airplanes. Its actually nuts. Very comfortable and fortunately we get some pretty cool pics of The Fugi on the other side. Would have been a great day to take the walk that we did yesterday but time didn’t allow it. Before we know it, we are in Osaka.

Our cab ride to them room was surprisingly expensive compared to all the other cab rides thus far but much needed as we have to cross major highways to get there. Getting out of cabs and up from subway seats, one must always pay attention to what he/she may be leaving behind. Emerging from the cab without his Boston Red Sox hat, Reid is now at the mercy of hat-head until we get him another one. As few and far between that hats are in Asia, he may be waiting for a while. The place that we originally had booked was cancelled last minute for something to do with fire regulations so we booked this one on a whim. $50CDN/night was very reasonable for a well maintained and form the looks of it, newly renovated building. Great beds and fairly close to the subway was all we needed… A park nearby provides the kids with some activity and some quick Japanese whipped up by yours truly has both Reid and Lela involved in a riveting game of hide and tag. They saw that you don’t need to speak the language to play the game. Very touching…

The night is young and we are spent but of course need to get some kms on the old boots before bed. Patty our research analyst, finds us basically the famous Dotonbori Canal that includes the even more famous “Running Man” bright light neon thingy. The lights were actually very impressive, the crowds quite large but the most interesting thing was the 200 yard line up for that shitty tube of cheese dog thing that I choked down in Tokyo. I had to do a double take but yeah, these people were in line to smash a log of friggin’ cheese rolled around in shake and bake. I’m guessing the line-up would take an hour for sure. That’s nuts. I tried to explain to everybody what they are waiting for but was only met with head nods and eyebrow raises.

Good luck with your constipation corn dog. Gross.

Squid on a stick and some sort of cool Japanese pancake and we are ready to head home. A quick stop at one of the 47 Sevs on our block for a beer and some wine and its nighty night time. Big day demain…

November 26, 2018

Our one and only exploration day of Osaka, has us looking at visiting the Osaka Castle in the heart of downtown. This castle was builtin 1583 and it played a major role in the unification of Japan during the 16th century.

The walls leading up to the castle are yet another sight to behold. Who think of carving massive pieces of rock and somehow lifting them in the air to form a perfectly concave corner as a mid-point connecting two sides of a wall that any rock-climber would most likely attempt to climb and slip off into what I can only imagine used to be a dragon infested moat with piranhas as back up… There would most likely be samurais or ninjas ready to leap out at you if you try and stealth-climb your way up the walls. This is most definitely a no go zone… It is, japan and cool shit like that happened 1000 years ago, I’m sure.

What would a trip to Osaka be without visiting the world famous Kid’s Plaza. If it wasn’t world famous before, it is now. Hoping that we won’t be disappointed like we were with the 2001 museum of shit taxidermy in Shanghai, we pay the fee and get ready for a fun filled few hours of who the heck knows…

I’m impressed as a matter of fact and I think I may have had just as much fun as the kids did! Lots of science stuff and a mock news room where Reid and Lela got to read the “kids news” were just a small portion of what this plaza had to offer. All good things must come to an end. While we sit waiting for them to finish a riveting game of hide and seek in the play area, the bell rings to end our time in this fabulous place. When I say bell, I mean some stupid ass built a science experiment right below us that forces kids to friggin’ yell into a bullhorn or something. Are you kidding me?

Game over… Dumbest thing ever.

A nice walk back, encountering funny signs and then an accidental hop onto a “women only car” on the subway ends a pretty fantastic day in Osaka. Not to forget the Octopus balls eaten on the street on our way. This was another thing that there were lineups for. I don’t get it. They were not tasty at all. Imagine these people hitting Canada and tasting a good piece of BBQ’d Alberta beef. I could have a line up from Edmonton to Calgary. Career Goal?

Blog time tonight and some video editing and beddy time. Early morning tomorrow. Got to be up at 5am to get to the man-made island airport west of town…

Good bye Japan! It’s been real… One of the most interesting countries I’ve been too for sure…

Next stop…