Beijing 2018

November 08/2018

Getting into our hotel last night a little later than expected after spending some time getting through the intense security at customs, outfitting my phone with a new SIM card and navigating our way via the subway, we managed to find a bottle of cab sav and some chips and had a quick night cap before laying down to rest our weary heads atop our boxspring stiff mattresses in hotel “not so clean”.

Everyone slept fine even though the jet lag was playing a thundering tune in my brain and we awoke around 5:30am local time and I headed down for some breakfast food for the tribe. With nothing open yet except the Chinese traditional 7-11, I found some expensive packaged croissant like snacks, yogurt and hot canned latte. I didn’t forget to buy our doorman a fresh 7-11 cup of coffee which I managed to miss until I went to pay for my other healthy snacks.  Mmmmmmmm…

All fooded up and wide awake, we decide to make our way downstairs and onto the empty streets of Beijing. Making our way south with no particular destination, we manage to find a beautiful park. Ritan Park did not disappoint. Tai Chi running rampant throughout the park with the traditional accompanying music made for a true first Beijing day experience. Public toilets are not knee problem friendly but luckily enough nobody has had to go number 2 yet. Patty and Lela made short work of the handicap stall which had a western style toilet. Oh, and there are magpies here. Friggin magpies…

On a side note…

Spitting on the street here in Beijing is a thing. Not just spitting but horking loogies and spitting. Man, woman and child… We figure its smog related but have yet to ask how it came to be. Saving that for when I know more Mandarin. Facebook, Instagram, Gmail and other miscellaneous social media is banned in China. You must have a VPN to gain access to these sites and from what I notice, the access is very sketchy. Another quick note is to put away the stereotype that the Chinese are short people. WRONG. The elders do lack in the height department overall but the younger generation are not small by any means. I am average height and weight here at 5’ 11” and 185… ok 190lbs. Oh and if you don’t smoke here then you are obviously a loser because smoking is the same as breathing. Even if you don’t smoke, you basically still are a smoker unless you are smart enough to wear a stylish surgical mask. There are actually stylish masks available…

One more thing…

If you think it’s crazy at the amount of people that have their face in their smart phones in North America… Come check this out. Surprisingly skillful at navigation when driving a scooter, riding a bike or walking, EVERYONE has their eyes on their phone! I must find out what they are looking at beings that all social media is banned…

Blonde haired blue-eyed children are not a common sight here in China and its very evident by the amount of staring that goes on. We do not feel unsafe whatsoever. The security here is unreal. I don’t think there is a blind spot in Beijing where big brother cannot see you. Walking through the park watching the kids enjoy the sights and sounds was very relaxing. It was a great way to start our journey.

After a quick breakfast of egg sandwiches and bacon/hotdog related items, we decided to head down to the business district in hopes that the CCTV or Citic Tower would allow Beijing observation. No and No were our answers along with I don’t know form a security guard who could not read mandarin so walking back to our room was next on the list beings that we are still a bit tired from jet lag. It wasn’t far to a subway stop that would take us to the Agriculture Center by which we would head west and find the Canadian Embassy.

The subway system here in Beijing is surprisingly easy to navigate. I have been on the NYC system and it was the opposite, I found. The subway was a bit more cramped, hot and smelled a little more than last night but all were entertained again by the blonde Canadian kids so it made for a short ride. Embassy row was a sight to behold. All foreign countries that have an embassy here in China were represented, each with a Chinese guard standing post on a 2 foot by 2-foot square box. “Career goal”.

Finally, we found our home countries location and revelled in its hugeness. The walls and metal spikes were much larger than most of the other embassies but were definitely not the most impressive parts of the grounds. We were met with smiles and confusion by the Canadian guard. There was no box for Marc, the Chinese non-English or French speaking groundskeeper. Only a finger point to the front gate where behind the glass we were greeted by Chinese, limited English keeper of the open gate button, Luis. Asking if the embassy gave tours, just for fun lead to nothing so we trudged onward with ambitions of picking up some fresh fruit and vegetables.

Heading back to the market that was only doors from our hotel was like playing frogger and dodgeball with vehicles. One must pay attention or you may be scootered…

The grocery store carries most of what any other store in western civilization carries only at a fraction of the price. Cool different kinds of candies and some weird tasting chips along with some bananas, cucumbers and oranges hit the basket as we went for the checkout. As we go to pay, the checkout lady has no idea how much the oranges are so instead of your typical western style price check, she cast them aside and proceeded to ask us for money. No oranges for you!!

Our day stalls for a quick nap after some taste tests of some candy and grilled squid Lays potato chips. Hoping to hit the more traditional foods tonight. After a failed attempt to get a rest, all of us rise with our sights set on checking out one of the malls here in Beijing. Note: males don’t shop for clothes. There were no men’s stores in this obviously women only geared shopping establishment. What?? 4 levels of shops and no men’s clothes. I didn’t inquire as to why but I’m guessing that the men’s only mall is beside the Chinese hardware store.

Headed off to find something to eat that is both a little “off the wall” and not packaged. The restaurant the is connected to the same building as us has a slightly more Chinese menu then The SEV and the menu looks delish. The language barrier rears its ugly head a bit here. The waiter either doesn’t speak at all or is tired of helping those who can’t speak Mandarin. In this restaurant, it is custom to pay BEFORE you eat. Obviously fast food in Canada and the USA is similar but I’ve never encountered it in a sit-down establishment. After getting my meal and taking a look at it as it looks back at me, I now know why you pay before you eat. Tasty yet hideous looking, the “stroker fish” that I am eating is paired perfectly with cubes of tofu. This is my first taste of “non-western” food here in China. Mmmmmmmm….

November 09/2018

Awake at 4am because we can’t get our clocks right. Kids won’t go back to sleep so we reward them with a French homework session. LOL.

A quick 7-11 coffee, some ancient Chinese yogurt and a shower and we are off to the forbidden city which marks the midline of Beijing and lies just north of Tiananmen Square, the Monument to the Peoples Heroes and the Chairman Mao Zedong Memorial Hall.

The subway ride this morning is more exciting than usual as we were accompanied by half of China this time. Like rats running from a flooding sewer, we all cram on to the subway to embark on the hot and sweaty ride to central Beijing.

Upon arrival in the Tiananmen Square district, we are greeted by exactly what we have been curious about and heard so much of. The “Holy shit there’s a blonde hair blue eyed child” paparazzi…

Immediately we are surrounded by onlookers with cameras asking for pictures with ME… No, not me…

Thousands of tourists both local and international crowd the south gates of the Forbidden City as we wait for the gates to open. While we wait, my kids spend their time doing photo ops with those who are pointing cameras at them. Most throw their young child in between Reid and Lela for a chance to have the Canada Twins in a shot with their son or daughter. It was really quite flattering and I had no problems with it. We all feel very safe here.

The south gates are a sight to behold. The former Chinese Imperial Palace from the Ming Dynasty to the Qing Dynasty (1420-1912) it is now home to the Palace museum. This complex consists of 980 buildings and covers over 180 acres.

The architecture is unreal. It’s really quite amazing that our country (Canada) is now just over 150 years old yet this structure was built just about 600 years ago.

Breathtaking size and overall area it is a fit bit owners dream. There are enough stairs here to climb to the friggin sun. I know, I walked it. We didn’t touch 1/50 of the entire place but we feel as though we have ran 3 marathons and a spartan race in 2.5 hours.

We did run into a couple of American chaps who also had no idea where they were going and also knew what being a spectacle was like. One fella had was wearing shorts. Its fall here in Beijing. He was the ONLY PERSON out of thousands who was sporting legless pants and everyone made it known how whack it was…

Leaving the Forbidden City on the north side, Patty decides that she wants to go and visit the big pagoda in the sky. This massive temple of sorts adorns the hilltop what seems to be 25km away and 10 times that in stairs. Good move.

Jingshan Park surrounds our destination atop “Mount Fuck My Legs Hurt”. There is not a park so far in Beijing that has disappointed and this is just one more piece of the amazing history of buildings in the city. Enroute to the summit, we encounter four different school tour groups whose main objective is to ask English speaking tourists questions in Chinese. Well they had a good eye opening when they realized that I was now fluent in THEIR LANGUAGE! “Ni Hao”, I say…

“Oh hello” they say back. Oh… well, I guess you speak some English? Ok, I don’t need to unleash my mandarin right now anyways…

Please continue. As question period ensues, we actually learn from these kids while they fulfill their responsibilities of the class trip. Beijings “middle line” lies right below our feet. Getting to the peak, we can see the line that runs directly north to south through the city and under our feet atop “Bunions and blisters” and the Forbidden City to the south. Cool…

On our way out of Jiangshan Park to the northwest lies Beihei Park which we need to pass through to access the ferry that ends up not running when the temperature reaches a chilly plus 14 degrees Celsius. Oh well more time for cool ancient trees, Tai chi and ribbon dancing. Plus, MORE PHOTO OPS! Career goal number three has been found. Man and his long grass broom sweeping leaves along the walk way as the wind blows them back into the same spot after he advances. This man never looks back. Only forwards. He has a handle on life.

A bridge takes us across the river and closer to our subway station. On the way we accidently run into one the older parts of Beijing which includes the famous Hutongs. Hutongs are alleys formed by lines of “siheyuan” or courtyard residences. Many neighbourhoods were formed by joining one siheyuan to another to form a hutong and then joining one hutong to another. The word “hutong” is also referred to such neighbourhoods.

This was the most frustrating experience by far with countless rikshaw drivers trying to compete for your business. “Bushi, sheh sheh” or No, Thanks…

Probably not proper mandarin but it got the point across after I said it the 78^th time. Finally escaping the wrath of the crazy Chinese bikers and just about getting hit by a car we hop back on the busy subway, have a chat with a couple of French backpackers and find some lunch at a no English KFC. That’s ok though because I am fluent in the language.

Not one word that I know helps in the way of ordering this meal but pointing to pictures gets the job done. All fed and watered well chickened and pepsied, it’s time to head for our mid-afternoon bed-down to recoup our energy and get ready for the evening activities. No going to bed at 7:30 tonight and waking at 4:00 am tomorrow…

We find ourselves back at our room feeling drained and exhausted. Spending time at “hot mall” is now our new favourite thing to do. Ginza Mall is just a stone’s throw from our place and easily accessible when “getting your sweat on” is what you crave. This mall is fuckin hot. Like gross hot. I’m thinking it must be because of the 25 different grills cooking all at once might be the reason. Nonetheless, it could use a door stop or two to cool it off. We had a nice meal at one of the restaurants and forced ourselves to keep our clothes on. Probably a good thing we did. Public nudity in China is most likely frowned upon. They don’t even wear shorts here.

November 10, 2018

“Sleep in day” started off just right… Nobody slept in! Still a tad jet lagged and weary from sleeping on, what I equate to, as a 3/4” piece of plywood with a paper towel on top, we rise and shine to the blanket of darkness. I head down once more to our favourite Chinese coffee shop and order a couple of americanos for breakfast along with some yogurt drinks for fat so we can take our super cool malaria meds.

Note to self:

Patty doesn’t like americanos… I think her words were “WTF?” I don’t remember but I surely made fun of it for the rest of the morning. The kids could not wait to get out and run around the little square across the street and play with their ribbons. I sat quietly for not more than 10 minutes when I too wanted to ribbon dance so proceeded downstairs to join the fun!

Watching the fun that the kids are having is really solidifying the fact that this was a “good idea.” We have been told by a few families that it takes a while for them to adjust. Not these two… If they can run then they are happy.

We decided to head around the corner and check out a different park. This park ended up to be a patch of grass with some stone snails and a path running through it. Good enough for running children and ribbon dancing. Our walk back sees Reid pick up a now commonplace grass broom and proceed to sweep the leaves back on to the sidewalk to the chagrin of passers-by… Damn Americans. Dirtying up our street. I’m sure that they thought we were American beings that Reid was wearing his Red Sox hat and Canadians would never make a mess like that…

Blocks of granite sit by the street awaiting installation so I, like any male human… or American try and pick one up. I’m sure the fella behind me thought I was about to steal it by the look on his face.

Our main goal today was limit walking but still see Tiananmen Square, Chairman Mao Zedong and hit Temple of Heaven. That doesn’t sound like limited walking to me…

The square was amazing. 109 acres of granite with the ten story Monument to the Peoples Heroes smack dab in the middle of it. A true sight for the eyes at its sheer size and it spread out thousands of people rather nicely.

More paparazzi. This time I just resort to photo bombing. This doesn’t help as now it’s an invitation for more pictures. Fail.

The mausoleum closed at noon so we missed it by 22 minutes. Fail.

Next up…

The Temple of Heaven. Another piece of Chinese history. Emperors once visited this collection of buildings for annual prayers to Heaven for good harvest. It too was amazing to behold. The paparazzi were here again. This was the first time that we felt uncomfortable as the swarm was much larger. Enough of being photographically raped, we skedaddle outta there and head home. The day was one for the books. A little stressed out but none worse for wear, we head down to a local eatery for some real food. $20 CDN buys us a meal for 10 so needless to say we left some on our plates.

The night is young so like first time travelers, we head up to bed. Boom. Can’t wait for 5am. Gonna be sick… The Great Wall bitches…

November 11/2018

Happy Remembrance Day to our Canadian friends and the families of our fallen heroes. It’s the 11^th here but it isn’t yet in Canada but pay no mind, it’s fitting that we are about to see one of the 7 wonders of the world, The Great Wall of China on such a special day. On a personal note, this has been a dream of mine to set foot on this miracle of engineering for as long as I can remember. Now to have my family with me makes it even more special. The day starts out with the bus ride from hell. Apparently tour buses have the right of way to oncoming traffic. If this is not the case then “chicken” is also a thing here as much as “spitting” is. Holy shit batman! Barely missing a couple oncoming cars because sideswiping a tandem axle sea can carrier is a bad idea, most of us decide to just close our eyes and enjoy the F1 bus race.

Managing to just squeeze by the last of our sea can rigs by the hair on our chinny chin chin, the driver slams on his brakes and pulls in for a pee break at a fuel station. Jokes on him… We have all already pee’d. In our pants.

Off again to continue ride “What the shit is happening?” it turns to expressway and it turns into one-way traffic. At least oncoming is off the list…

Arrival at bus terminal switch off station sees us divide our crew into smaller buses and head to base camp to decide whether we should walk to the first tower (30 minute walk plus another 45 minutes to the tower where the tram drops you) or take the tram. Our tour guide explains that should you walk the entire way that you may have to “walk faster”. Running the math quickly in our heads and realizing that we cannot make both the walk from base to the east five window tower and back down (total of 5 hours) we choose to take the tram. Two per tram is all that is allowed on the smart car sized units for the 15 minute ride up the mountain to our first tower and our first step onto The Great Wall.

I have done a lot of crazy stuff in my day and heights have never scared me. This was fucked. The cramped feeling inside the matchbox swingy thing 250’ above rocky cliffs sent my cohunes back into my body to hide. I should have chosen the walk faster approach.

Like 99/100 trams, we end up making it and OHHHHHH MAAAAANNN!!!

IS IT WORTH IT!!

Unbelievable, beautiful, breathtaking, surreal and unbelievable are words that would be used for the next 3.5 hours. Fuck my legs hurt would also be words that we use. Hurt me bad in a real good way. The 6km and 85 floors (according to Fitbit) was the most incredible hike I have ever been on. For obvious reasons. The kids had an absolute blast counting stairs. LOL.

One thing about traveling that I absolutely love is the people you meet along the way. You’re all there for the same reason and everyone has a story. From the assistant Dean at Penn state law who knew like 50 languages, the lovely gal that wrote for NYC Magazine, NY Times and the Globe and Mail to the architect that will most likely be given credit for some of our best pictures, we did not want to leave. Meditations, snacks and even a cold beer at the top will make this quad burning son of a buck tough to top. Pictures do not do it justice. GO HERE IF YOU CAN.

November 12/2018

An early morning for some but just another day in the life of the flashpackerz. I Rise and shine at 4am to head down and grab a coffee for myself and mumma. My regularity clock is messed up. I don’t want to have to go the bathroom at 4am. Geeze…

Coffee’d showered, dressed and packed, we head down to the lobby to start on our way to the airport express enroute to our next destination. This will be a travel day of sorts. In the air and finding our lodgings only to spend a couple days in our second Asian country. We must exit China for a time in order to re-enter. Our “visa free approach” has saved us a lot of money. 144 hours in, leave for a couple days and back in for 144 hours and our time in China will be complete.

Zai Jian Beijing and sheh sheh!!